so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
