Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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