Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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