why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
