Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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