Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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