Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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