If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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