Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize