Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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