I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
