I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
