Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
