So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
