C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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