I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
