Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
