i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
