he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
