she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
