That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
