you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just saw a hot homeless man
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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