she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
