That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
