Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
