walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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