If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
