BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
