It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
