I'm laying in your front yard are you home
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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