Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
