He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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