what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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