if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
