Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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