ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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