glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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