And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
