I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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