Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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