so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
