16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you made out with another girl for some wings
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
