I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
