It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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