i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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