You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
