you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
