Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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