so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
