trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
